A Note To All The Empaths.
This evening, on the International Day of Peace, I feel called to share a recent experience of mine. As an empath, and a woman who has had some crazy experiences in my life that have truly revealed to me my power (and yours! We've all got it in us!), sometime I think I know things.... and sometimes I do, and sometimes I completely misinterpret. This story is about that! It is about anxiety and feeling like a should crawl in a hole and die- when really that was far from the truth!
A couple of months back while teaching yoga, I had the experience of thinking the whole class that everyone hated it and me. Let me paint the picture: Full class. Teaching at a studio that is also a gym. Class was a slow, deep stretching and restorative one. I was talking about the connection of the gut and brain or about anxiety or something like that. This was the first time that I was truly convinced that everyone was either bored, or hated it, and me. You see as an empath I pick up really intensely on other people feelings! What I failed miserably to do here was to actually interpret the situation correctly.
I specifically enjoy teaching a style of yoga called yin. I love it so much because it is a form of meditation as well as deep stretching, and ends up being a form of cognitive therapy. My pain physically and emotionally has done a 180 since starting to practice it two years ago.
So, what I failed to pick up on here is that I was speaking to a group of people about what they can do for anxiety, for pain, for health issues. Of course they are tuning into the issues that they have! Hell, for all I know someone could be recounting an incredibly traumatic event in that very moment. I will pick up on their pain.. I can't (usually) read their mind, though! I felt what their heart was feeling! Aaaaand then I took that personally. I did a real human thing here an made it about me. And as a result I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, and then for the next couple months doubted my ability/likability as a teacher (and maybe/probably as a human..)
The reason I feel so called to share this is because of the lesson here! As humans we are creatures of pattern recognition. That is how we learn. Sometimes what we learn is incredibly beneficial to us. Other times what we "learn" is actually false, or a limiting belief that can then go on to hold us back in a lot of ways! (For example, the entire next month when I felt truly horrible at my job...)
Last week one of the women who had been in that class came back to take it again. I had not seen her since, and honestly I had thought that she hated it. After class she came up to me and shared a story with me. One of the poses I had taught stopped her from having a panic attack. She shared with me that she came to it because I had taught about coming to it when you feel anxious. She thanked me. My heart melted, and this time I wanted to die out of happiness. This time I felt like I was serving my purpose in life if I was helping someone in that way.
So this is for all of you empath out there. I see you. I feel you. I want you to know that you DO feel the weight of the world. Literally... your anterior cortex in the brain registers when others feel pain and you feel it. LITERALLY! However, that pain that can easily become anxiety and depression. That pain that is often crippling. That pain that feels constant right now as the world is in distress. That pain is what makes you amazing. That pain is what makes you so precious. You. Feel. Everything. And that pain that you feel is often times not actually your pain. The world needs more people like you. You hold so much power, as you have been gifted a body in this lifetime! A really sensitive, really psychic body. Find your tools for processing and staying present through it all because it is you who can change the world with your kindness.
With love and gratitude for your presence,